Thirty Truths about Sex in 2023
Pay close attention, future fucker!!
I saw a group of youth activists (?), probably college-aged, excitedly handing out condoms today. They were beaming, shouting, liberated, and fully enjoying the particular brand of modern “non-transgressive transgression” so endemic in cities and college campuses today.
You know the type I’m talking about, right? The whole: “I’m doing something bad, but I don’t care if it’s bad because I’m on the right side of history, so if bigots want to stop me I’m ready for a SHOWDOWN (I literally drink Nazi tears)…but also no one is going to stop me or say anything to me for that matter because literally everyone in a 10 mile radius of me has the same political outlook as me…but even so I’ll walk away from my condom drive today feeling like a total badass anyway and imagine that I fought some oppressive superstructure and that my life is one of fearlessness and resistance” kind of activists.
My simple question is: who is using these condoms? You see I’m confused about that, as I am about the whole state of sexuality today. Does anyone out there know what is happening sex-wise in the world today? Let’s do a brief rundown of the social mores around sex in 2023:
You can never be too sure what’s okay and what’s not okay, so it always good to have a verbal conversation about consent before sex, outlining what is and isn’t okay.
If you had a conversation about consent with a person prior to sex, but that person had more money or power than you, then there was a power imbalance that was causing you to feel coerced into providing consent. You issued your consent under duress and therefore may retroactively revoke it.
Dear men: please be confident and stop being little pussies! Tell women what you want!
Dear men: making overt unwanted advances toward women is a form of sexual harassment!
Sex work is legal and must be unionized. Sex workers ought be provided full benefits with health insurance, and should be legally recognized and protected at the federal government level.
Anyone who purchases the services of sex workers is a pervert, a creep, a loser, and probably a rapist.
There is no reason to be ashamed about the body, every part of the body is just that - a part of a body. A boob is no different than a toe is no different than a vulva is no different than a chin. Do not hide your body, every part of it is beautiful and natural!
A great way to make money is to start an Onlyfans account where you charge people to see the hidden and titillating parts of your body (the ones covered by clothes as they are too arousing to be shown in public).
People are free to love who they please as long as they are of legal age
Adults who are more than three years older than their adult partner are groomers.
It is good to talk about kinks, explore different kinks, enjoy everything your heart has ever desired
A man talking openly about his kinks is only doing so with an intent to self-arouse. Please report them to HR if at work, and police if not.
Women have the right to decide if and when and with who they have sex with.
If a college student decides she wants to have sex with a 50 year old rich man she has been manipulated and groomed.
Men who are stoic, non-communicative, and emotionally restrained are either products of or purveyors of toxic masculinity.
Men who are fragile enough to get mad at being rejected are emotionally fragile little crybabies who need to suck it up. If possible, they should suck it up in a way that is stoic, non-communicative, and emotionally restrained.
Marriage is the main institution responsible for replicating the patriarchy
A polycule made of six men and four women is not responsible for replicating the patriarchy
Everything is permitted!
Almost nothing is permitted unless explicit consent is obtained
Men need to communicate with women to learn how to please them.
Men are pathetic lovers who have no idea how to please a woman. It is a waste of time to educate them.
You are allowed to date and have sex with whoever you want for any reason, and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is pro-rape.
Straight men who do not have sex with trans women are transphobic and participate in the perpetration of literal violence.
Fit men who not have sex with fat women are fat-phobic and participate in the perpetration of literal violence.
Women want sex just as much as men.
Men who seek out relationships with women only expecting sex are covert abusers.
Porn is good, anyone who disagrees is a reactionary anti-feminist.
Men cannot perform in bed because all they do is jerk-off and it’s disgusting.
Men who go nofap are pervert losers.
Here is my list of 383 kinks, highlighted in green for things that I like, yellow for things I am open to, and red for things I ABSOLUTELY am not interested in.
Despite this list of 383 kinks, I have not left the house in 3 years and therefore do not have live physical sex nor do I plan to.
Welcome to 2023, where everyone talks about sex, but nothing is sexy, and no is having sex.
You really do hate women, don’t you?