Final Warning: Do NOT Fall in Love

Love as Pathology

Do not fall in love.

Repeat: Do NOT fall in love.

At this point you should already know this; there have been countless think pieces on websites such as “mindbodygreen.com” that clearly lay out the stark difference between love and infatuation. Don’t tell me you didn’t read your daily “mindbodygreen” article…I myself can’t go a fortnight without the endless wisdom found at “mindbodygreen.com.”

Falling in love is a mistake. It is an error. You see, you’re actually just infatuated. You are caught in a state of torturous limerence. You have what we might call “puppy love.” You may very well think you are in love, but that is the cruel trick your mind and body is playing on you. You can’t possibly be in love if you don’t really know someone. And you can’t really know someone unless you actually take the time to talk to them instead of just ogling their body. What you call love is what other people (such as myself) like to refer to as the male gaze. Women who fall in love with men, or allow men to fall in love with them, are servicing the violative male gaze and perpetuating colonial standards of beauty. You are not in love, you’re just a stupid idiot who believes in “attraction,” a concept that has never been empirically proven and was constructed by white colonialist men.

Let’s just go a step further; not only are you not in love (you dolt), your love is actually a toxic feeling. It is a projection, an idealization of the other based on the lack of contact you have with your internal feeling states and a misogynistic brainwashing carried out by your father/mother who abandoned you when you developed secondary sexual characteristics, most likely as revenge for seeking individuation (aka FREEDOM . More than likely, the reason you feel what you moronically refer to as “love” is that it reminds you of your core rejections. Your mommy or daddy didn’t accept you or treat you the right way, and so now you are endlessly engaged in ritualistic rejection, an endless looped replay of your failed early attachments with your primary caregivers. Love seems pretty cool, until you realize that you’re just a coward with an Oedipal need for approval.